Laura Marney

Books by Laura Marney

Only Strange People Go To Church

Maria, a community worker, looks after an unruly gang of mentally disabled people. She wants to put on a community show but lacks both a venue and a community to perform it. Ray’s workshop, actually a deconsecrated church, could be the answer to her prayers. Ray, however, wields an unnatural influence over people. Can he be trusted? On the other hand, Dezzie, her colleague, is a great guy; he’s tall, handsome, and he doesn’t mind women with concave chests.

After an alarming incident with a flasher and auditions that include the Can-Can Grans, Maria succeeds in setting up a Musical Extravaganza. However, in doing so she suffers a moral dilemma that would curl a bishop’s hair. If Maria does ‘the right thing’ she’ll wreck careers, break hearts and end up alone and flat-chested. What is ‘the right thing’ and should she do it?

Publication : July 2006
UK & Commonwealth rights : Transworld

No Wonder I Take A Drink

Lack of funds force Trisha to return to her previous profession as a pharmaceutical rep, telling jokes to sad burnt-out GPs. The good news is that Steven, her teenage son is about to move back in with her. The bad? So is Bob, his dad – and his nubile Norwegian girlfriend. Tricia’s mind is unexpectedly made up when she inherits a place in the Highlands. Having pictured a rural idyll, she finds rain, sheep, a jaywalking dog and kamikaze midges. And more rain. Her social life is so limited that she even contemplates joining the Inversnechty Mental Health Awareness Group just for the craic.

Then three nurses on holiday leave from Saudi invite Trisha to a ceilidh. A night of whisky-fuelled high jinks ensues which leads to a significant encounter with Spider, the local Lothario, and a dramatic discovery that will change Trisha’s future forever.

UK Publication : June 2004
UK & Commonwealth Rights: Transworld (Black Swan original)

Nobody Loves A Ginger Baby

Everbody’s on anti-depressants. They’re all suffering from post-romantic stress disorder. Not being happy all the time makes them unhappy and stressed. Nowadays, not being happy is deeply unfashionable and therefore quite intolerable, and so everybody’s (secretly) on happy pills. Bertha chucks Donnie who goes out with Daphne and begs her not to chuck him but then he chucks her and returns to Bertha who inevitably chucks him again. Daphne gets fat. She makes soup all the time and wonders if Woolworths sell a hosepipe to fit a Vauxhall Vectra. Pierce is a fat balding womaniser whose only steady relationship is with a cup at the sperm bank. He’s the only one not on anti-depressants, and he’s the hero. But it’s not all sniffles and tears. After a few undignified deaths and some life-affirming events it all ends cheerily enough with Pierce saving the day and everybody taking a metaphorical shake to themselves.

UK Publication Date: July 2005
UK & Commonwealth Rights: Transworld (Black Swan original)

My Best Friend Has Issues

What did I know about life, a wee heifer like me, a twenty two year old no mates stay at home from the rump end of Cumbernauld? What did I even know about sex, never mind drugs, or violence, or murder?

Alison, an innocent Scottish girl, moves to Barcelona and meets Chloe, a not so innocent American heiress. Chloe as well as introducing Alison to a multitude of sins, teaches her new friend about the sweet taste of revenge. Throwing off her Presbyterian morality (and hopefully her embarrassing virginity), Alison begins a sex and drugs romp through the gothic streets of Bacelona, while sending vengeful postcards home…

Dear Lisa and Lauren,
Chloe and I on beach with beautiful Latino boys, wow! Need to buy new clothes, size twelve way too big now! Suppose you’ll be watching Emmerdale. Hope cystitis not causing you too much agony. Alison xxx

June 2008
UK & Commonwealth : Transworld